I gained 40 pounds during my pregnancy with Lu. When I walked out of the hospital 36 hours after delivery, I'd lost 10. Not great but at least it was a start.
Over the next two weeks, I lost 5lbs quickly and then another 5lbs slowly. But since breastfeeding made me ravenous and I was eating like a horse, I was pretty happy with that.
And then I gained 5lbs back. See above reference to eating like a horse.
So I still have 25lbs to go to get to my pre-pregnancy weight, which I would have told you was 20lbs overweight to begin with (though I'd be pretty happy to be there right now).
That's 45lbs to lose, which is quite depressing. That's more than both of my kids weigh together. Good grief.
The way I've been tackling this problem is continuing to eat like a horse and hoping that suddenly I'll have a very different metabolism than I've had my entire life.
I can't believe that's not working!
But you know what's weird? My self-perception totally lags--like several years. There's a third grade picture of me with overly large adult teeth, limp hair, and a self-conscious smile that haunted me all through Jr. High. When I thought of myself, I would see that picture.
In college, I thought I was the cute little thing that I was in high school when the reality was that I'd put on 15-20lbs. One day a woman I worked with commented that another girl in the office and I were the same size and the other girl was completely offended when I agreed. She was actually the size I used to be, so I guess I thought I was just a diet away from being her size again.
Now I think of myself at my pre-pregnancy weight (though my clothes beg to disagree) and I think that while I could stand to drop a few, I'm not noticeably heavy... But at the park the other day there was another mom there with twin sons Gus' age. I made some friendly overtures, but she was mostly stand0ffish, which, fine, some people are like that. But she was a Cute Mom and when another Cute Mom showed up she became much more chatty. And I realized OH SNAP, I'm Dowdy Mom. Boo!
Something must be done.
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1 comments:
Oh how I can relate to that disconnect. How you sees yourself can be so different from reality. I felt horrid about my appearance until I was in my 30's at least, and now I still have days where I range all over the place. Anyway, I've seen pictures of you throughout the pregnancy and you certainly don't look like dowdy mom to me. I'd bring cupcakes to the park next time and stage-whisper, "Joinnnnn meeeee!!!" in seductively evil tones as the other mother arrive. You'll be the most popular mom at the playground in no time.
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